


Fluster

by Quitebrilliantindeed



Category: Xenosaga
Genre: Awkwardness, Bigotry & Prejudice, Friendship, Gen, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 15:31:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1095657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quitebrilliantindeed/pseuds/Quitebrilliantindeed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a very difficult evening for Allen Ridgeley. Episode I.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fluster

**Author's Note:**

> This probably seems like the stangest combo to write about, doesn't it? But there's a method to my madness, I promise!  
> Because, you know, Allen is quite the dick (at times) in Episode I, isn't he?  
> I bet he received a little push in the right direction...

"Ehhhhhhh?"

Shion started to laugh, seemingly unashamed and unaware of what a racket she was making— people all the way down the hall could probably hear the sound of her snorts. Allen wasn’t sure if was the best thing he’d ever seen,or the worst.

On one hand, seeing Shion this happy was, without fail, awesome— her eyes lit up, her cheeks turned red, and she smiled like a kid, dimples and all. But on the other hand… she was laughing at  _his_  expense.

"What’s so wrong about it? I—" Allen stuttered, head in his hands. He wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to be embarrassed by at this point. "What?? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Chief!?"

Shion hiccuped a few times, working overtime to quell her own laughter. With a cherry-red smile, she replied: “…Are you going on a date?”

"A date? No! He just asked me to dinner. _Dinner._  A dinner between two friends. There’s nothing unusual—”

"Oh, so you’re friends now?" Shion smirked like the devil. "I thought we ‘shouldn’t associate’ with these people?"

"W-well!" Allen knew he’d been backed into a corner now. He was missing a piece of the puzzle, and Shion was doing everything in her power to keep it from him. "I’ve had a change of heart! They’ve helped us out and all, and, and…"

"You don’t get it do you…?" 

"No, not really."

She laughed again: “He’s gay!”

The lightbulb went off in Allen’s head.  Aha…

"…Oh."

"Yeah."

"You don’t think he’s actually…?"

Shion laughed _yet again_. Angels were singing somewhere, Allen was sure of this much. “No, of course not! Don’t be silly, Allen— someone like Gaignun would never fall for you.” 

"Ahah, good poi—hey, wait, that’s not fair!" 

Shion was already shoving past him and strolling out the door, leaving Allen stunned in her queenly wake.

Right on time, Allen heard a friendly voice coming from outside the door. It was deeper than an ocean and smooth as can be— oh no. The man himself, and he was talking with Shion… Despite the recent news of Gaignun’s sexuality (how  _did_  he miss that anyway? All those darned rumors must have distracted him) his heart still leaped up his throat. What if Shion liked Gaignun anyway? He shook his head. No. Shion would never flirt with a man that she knew didn’t sleep women! …But what if she still liked Gaignun better? What if he was on an even lower friendship-level than someone she had  _just met?_

"Mr. Ridgeley?"

"Wah?!" In the midst of his angst,  the door had slid open, leaving the two face-to-face. "I mean…hi?"

Gaignun looked at him with raised eyebrows and the slightest hint of suspicion, but ultimately, said nothing revealing. “I realized you wouldn’t know where to meet me, so I thought it best to just come pick you up.” He flashed a perfect smile, overly-charming and 100% politician. “If that’s okay with you?” Nope. He took that back. Not politician at all. That was genuine! Genuine! Gosh, could this guy do anything wrong?

Gaignun’s eyes remained fixed on Allen, even as he turned away in a fluster to gather his things. Ohhh man. Not a minute into the evening, and he was already seeing right through him…

"Y-yeah! That’s fine! I just… was talking with the Chief and—" He threw his arms up in the air in utter defeat. "Yeah! Here we are…"

"Mmhmmm…" 

"I swear, she’s a bit of a handful for me…"

"I can tell," Couldn’t everyone? "All the better, right? She seems to be a very capable young woman— so much energy and dedication, despite all her responsibilities. I’d be proud to work under her…"

"Yeah, I guess…" Allen sighed. Gaignun was totally right about everything, even if he personally hated to admit it. "That is, if you can keep up…"

Gaignun chuckled and uncrossed his arms, gesturing to the hallways behind him. “Shall we?”

Allen swallowed, grabbing his coat from the nearby chair. Here he had thought that this would be his chance to be cool— to be a hero of sorts in the eyes of the Chief. The sort of guy who could change his tune and embrace new ideas! The sort of guy who hangs out with smooth and successful men like the Chairman…!

Ehh. So much for that. 

"Ready to go…!" He stumbled, following Gaignun out the door.

Allen had many a dim memory of his mother telling him to never compare himself to others, be it looks, skills, family, or fortune, it would only result in pain.

Allen, however, promptly ignored this piece of advice, and continued to size himself up to every single person he ever met.

So on their walk down to the restaurant, Allen took care to observe every little detail of this oh-so-great Gaignun Kukai.

His findings were grim:

A) He was  _pretty. Too pretty._ Just androgynous enough to make anyone not usually attracted to men question their sexuality for the briefest of seconds. Slim, but strong. Sharp features, but a long and smooth face, with big eyes and perfect lashes. Ugh.

B) He dressed about as wealthy as he was. A pang of disgust went down his spine— the flaunting of wealth always made him a little uneasy… but aw man, he even did _that_ tastefully. Every cent screamed ‘philanthropy’ and ‘comforting public image.’ Gaignun— 2. Allen— 0.

C) He treated other people like they were small gods. Even the most rabid of fans that they passed couldn’t faze him. He was clearly practiced at it, but seemed to have the patience of a saint to boot. And how many friendly greetings had he given? How many smiles and waves? Allen was losing count.

D) Even his walk was perfect. One hand in the pocket, one at his side, and a gaze that stared onward, steadfast and admirable, without even a hint of fear. He was like a small bulldozer in the face of doubt and adversity.

In short, Allen instantly knew had lost. _Big time._

"Are you… angry with me?" 

Allen nearly jumped— he should have known Gaignun would notice sometime or later. “N-no!” He guffawed, a dumb smile on his face. “Why would you think that? Am I glaring?”

"No, just…" Gaignun shot him a vaguely confused look. "…Staring."

"Ahahah…ha…haah…" His palms were getting sweaty, with all this pressure to make a half-decent excuse. "I was just, staring off into space, you know!?" He laughed again, despite the nagging feeling that he was only making things worse.

Gaignun paused, then hummed: “Of course.”

Yeah, no, Gaignun wasn’t buying that one bit. By this point, Allen was about ready to scream.

"We’re here," Gaignun announced, coming to a slow stop in front of (arguably) the fanciest restaurant on the Durandal’s boulevard. No wonder Gaignun had told him to change to something a little nicer… yeesh. A quick look at his guide revealed him to be wearing (what he assumed was) the exact same suit he’d been in earlier. Allen supposed that was one benefit to dressing so darn suave— you could go to most places without worrying about changing your dresscode.

Unfortunately, Allen couldn’t help but feel like the awkward observer, standing by as Gaignun casually led them in, charming everyone within a two-meter radius, whether he meant to or not. Seeing the way the host’s eyes lit up was possibly the worst part— he clearly recognized the man in front of them, and he was _clearly_  quite excited about it. Ughhhhh.

More fortunately, Gaignun had their reservation made in a most lonesome corner of the restaurant, far from where they could be hassled by adoring fans and whatnot. Allen, unwillingly, let out a sigh of relief. It was a pretty little spot too— with a wide-open window, stretching around the whole corner to reveal a beautiful (sideways) view of the nighttime Foundation.

Wait, no! _No!_ He refused to fall to this man’s charms! He was stronger than that! While everyone else flailed and whistled, he would be the one man to stand his ground!

Gaignun settled down across from him, uncrossing his arms, and pulling a menu screen up from the table. It was all done in a perfect, fluid motion, radiating so much elegance and wealth that Allen thought he might choke on it.

 _No! No! Stop!!!_ Allen’s mouth formed a crooked smile, and a small, low groan slipped out between the cracks.

"I’m sorry for inviting you on such short notice," Allen looked up to Gaignun. His eyes were still fixed nonchalantly on his menu as he spoke— and it somehow filled him with a slight sense of relief."I heard from your Chief that the recent events have left you a bit…uncomfortable."

"Y-yeah?" Allen’s heart ignited at the sound of that— had she really mentioned him? What did she say? Was she concerned? Maybe this night wasn’t going to be so bad after all…

"She mentioned that you aren’t particularly fond of what we do here," Gaignun’s voice dipped a little on that note— was that anger he was sensing? Allen gulped. "And as such, docking with us has made you rather jumpy…"

”..D-Did she now?”

"Yes," Gaignun finally looked up from the menu, closing it with a flick of his hand. He then folded them neatly on the table between them. "I suppose I’d like to quell some of those fears. I figured dinner would be an effective way to do that— you can ask whatever questions are bothering you, and I can give you straight answers instantly."

Allen stared blankly at him for a long few seconds. Oh. _Oh._ This was punishment for those comments he had made the other day, wasn’t it? He wasn’t sure what was the greatest evil— being reprimanded like this, or the fact that Shion was the one who started it…

"Are you all right…?" Gaignun frowned, leaning in towards him.

"So… this isn’t a date?" Allen blurted. Darn it—

"What!?" Gaignun’s brow knitted as he backed up several inches. (Hey— that was one flaw— he had kinda intimidating eyebrows…) "Did you think I was—"

"Ah!" Allen frantically waved his hands, backing up into his own chair. "N-no! I didn’t!!" Arghhhhhh! He fought the urge to bury his reddening face in his hands— it was not supposed to go like this…! "I just—Chief told me that you—and I wondered— because— I mean— gay—"

"Fancying men doesn’t mean I fancy _all_  men…” Gaignun’s voice had sunk rather low again, but his face remained as calm as ever, his eyes lightly shut, and a small (irritated??) smile stuck on his face. “That’s a mighty archaic sentiment, Mr. Ridgeley.”

"I… I didn’t mean it like that."

Gaignun crossed his arms and shook his head, suddenly withdrawing from the argument at hand. “No, no… It was probabl my fault for being so sudden about this,” He looked back up, that perfectly genuine smile returning. Allen was definitely ready to scream at his point— how perfectly self-deprecating! He was the one who screwed up, and Gaignun had somehow still made it his own fault? What what this guy even?? “I’ll have to be clearer next time, it seems. Forgive me.”

"Hey man, forgive _me_ ,” Allen mumbled, hanging his head. At this rate, he was going to have to start making a list of how many times he messed up today…

"You’re fine," Gaignun assured him. "We have slightly more pressing matters at hand anyway." He paused, taking a long look out the window. "What is it that frightens you?" 

"About the Foundation…?" Allen asked, glancing at the view. Gaignun nodded. "Well…" Was there any nice way of explaining this? He had never thought his view to be particularly negative or strange until he had encountered the opposing one. Now, no matter what he said, he’d just end up looking like a fool, and drop another five notches in this invisible hierarchy of cool that Gaignun clearly already dominated…

Jeez, but those eyebrows really were intimidating.

"I—I just… hadn’t ever really been around mutants before."

"I see."

"And…" Allen’s mouth twisted uncomfortably. The waitress came to his rescue, swooping in to place two glasses of water down at the table. It was a bit of respite— but it didn’t last long.

"And…?" Gaignun prompted, upon the waitress’s departure. "You were saying?"

"Uh…" Allen grasped for the words. Maybe an interruption was not what he needed— he felt even more lost than before, if that was even possible. "Man, I guess I don’t really have an excuse, do I? I just figured that mutants were… you know, high-and-mighty, or even scary." Gaignun remained silent. "…I know, I know. Chief told me that was racist… but it’s hard, you know? I’ve lived a really sheltered life until now— this is way more excitement than I ever asked for… so anything new and unfamiliar, well, I guess I assume the worse. Which, I guess means buying into those types of rumors too."

"That’s understandable," Gaignun began, his voice slow and calculated. Allen gulped. Time for his judgement. "Excusable? No… but you aren’t the first to react in such a way. Why else would we need a place like this? If there were no difficulties, these people wouldn’t have any need for a refuge."

"Yeah…?"

"Indeed," Gaignun shifted in his seat, bringing his folded hands neatly to his chin. Allen wanted to groan— this was definitely his judgement. "Well then, how can I help?"

"…Huh?"

"How can I help you overcome this?" Gaignun continued. "I can answer your questions here, like I originally planned, or is there something that might work better for you?"

"This is fine!" Allen exclaimed, waving his hands back and forth. "I’m just… confused about why you’re doing this."

"Because I have a mad, raging crush on you— Allen Ridgeley?" Gaignun smiled devilishly, narrowing his eyes until Allen felt the full scope of his playful deprecation. "I kid, I kid… Let me put it like this: for every one person I convince, hundreds more can follow after. It’s like… a stone dropped in water. One action creates hundreds of ripples in its wake." He took a sip of water, painfully smooth and casual. "That is, of course, if I can _truly_  convince the person in question.”

Allen paused. He tilted his head, glaring at the man across the table. Yeah, he was definitely perfect— agonizingly perfect. But he was so  _good_ … good enough even to slip past Allen’s raging irritation, and make him honestly fond of the guy. You couldn’t hate him. You couldn’t possibly hate anyone this… this… sickeningly  _nice._

"…"

"…?"

"…What sort of powers do mutants… really have?" It was a small question. Probably dumbly obvious too, but as far as Allen was concerned, it was a good place to start. Gaignun smiled at him, evidently pleased to have finally started some kind of conversation on the subject at hand.

And gosh, that was a nice smile. You really couldn’t hate him…

…Or anything he was involved in.

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, Allen is the polar opposite of writing Jr.   
> Jr: "fuck shit damn, you bastard, I swear to fucking god!"  
> Allen: "gosh darn it, oh goodness, Chieeeeeeef!"  
> Mmmhmm.


End file.
